ACT Relevant Books, Films, Songs, Poems, and Quotes

ACT Relevant Books, Films, Songs, Poems, and Quotes

Below are lists of books/stories, films/videos, songs, poems, and quotes relevant to ACT.

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A Dash Of Lime..A Bit Of Honey

A Dash Of Lime..A Bit Of Honey

Here is a short film in Hindi ( with English subtitles) with an ACT relevant theme like living in the Present, Acceptance etc..

Synopsis from Youtube:
------------------

The story is about Anindya who is on the verge of committing sucide. But the very night he has a surreal encounter with life and death personified. Will anindya change his decision???

Nischal

A life of being right versus a living life - a short scene

A life of being right versus a living life - a short scene

This final scene (around 20 min, subtitled in english), on website below, of indian movie Mohabbatein won best scene of year 2000. I think it illustrates in a simple dialogue between son-in-law and father-in-law, a life with pain/value versus a life without pain and changes.

In my humble opinion, I don't think the complete movie is worth watching, the best scenes being the ones between son-in-law and father-in-law. Plus, it is easy to understand this scene even if we didn't see the complete movie. Megha is the dead daughter. The beginning of this sequence is a little slow but climax will come. It is after 4 min that it is starting to unravel...... and around 10 min when the father talks to his students.

Indian movies have often this naïvely sentimental way of presenting things and often emphasize intensity of feelings by spectacular settings (nature is often present ---- thunder, lightning, strong wind, sunrays, etc.....).

For a relax way of learning ACT in life!

Cristel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QBeyPHDNVo

Cristel Neveu

ACT Animation - M!ndi on youtube

ACT Animation - M!ndi on youtube

here's a link to M!ndi's animated story on youtube "Struggling with Internal Hijakers?"

+ M!ndi's message packs!!!

The attached files are the messages that you receive with the iphone app and desktop versions of M!ndi.

We hope you find them useful. Please feel free to use with your clients. And direct them to M!ndi's web page..

NeLi and James

NeLi Martin

ACT Onscreen: Films for Clients

ACT Onscreen: Films for Clients

This section of ContextualScience.org is for practitioners looking for a film to prescribe to their clients. Along the lines of the suggestions made in Rent Two Films and Let's Talk in the Morning, by John and Jan Hesley or "The Motion Picture Prescription: Watch This Movie & Call Me in the Morning - 200 Movies to Help You Heal Life's Problems", by Gary Solomon. I've found many films contain moments or plot turns that are highly suitable as metaphors for ACT processes. I invite the ACT community to contribute to this resource so we can help our clients and learn from each other.

Here's Jason Luoma's suggested ratings format and modifications to my original proposal. Thanks Jason! 

 At a recent lab retreat, Steve's lab came up with the idea of each movie receiving a hexaflex point rating. This similar to the 0, 1, or 2 two thumbs up from Ebert and Roper, but instead goes from 1 to 6, depending upon the number of ACT processes illustrated. The ultimate prize goes the person who can come up with a movie that illustrates all six ACT processes. Will YOU take up the challenge? It can come from multiple scenes in one movie. The ultimate challenge would be to identify one scene that illustrates all six processes. Go fot it!

I'd suggest when you review a movie, at the start you give it a hexaflex rating according to how many processes the movie illustrates.

The six processes are:

  1. Contact with the present moment
  2. Acceptance
  3. Defusion
  4. Self-as-context
  5. Values
  6. Commitment

For example, a movie that illustrates four of these proceses would get four hexaflex points! So as a format for ratings, I'd suggest the following:

  1. Film name
  2. Number of Hexaflex Points
  3. Character, moment or plot point
  4. ACT principle illustrated and which processes it involves.

Also you might want to put the number of hexaflex points in the title section.

Julian: Here's an example (one of my favorites ;-)):

  1. The Matrix
  2. 1 Hexaflex point (but see Camilla's additional point below)
  3. Neo, the Keanu Reeves character, is asked to choose between the red pill or the blue pill
  4. Choosing and Willingness - sometimes you can't know the outcome before you choose. Are you willing to have the consequences of choosing and just choose?

Here's Jason's example:

  1. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
  2. 3 hexaflex points
  3. When Indiana is just about to get to the holy grail, he finds himself stuck at the edge of a seemingly bottomless chasm. He reads a riddle that suggests that the only way to get across the chasm is to take a leap of faith. So he steps out into mid air, seemingly to fall to his death. Instead, he finds that there is actually a hidden bridge that was built to blend seemlessly into the backdrop of the chasm and his step lands on terra firma. Whew!
  4. The scene illustrates committed action, in that Indiana takes a step towards his quest even when unsure of the outcome. It illustrates willingness/acceptance in that the move is leadp of faith, requiring him to make room for his fear. And it illustrates defusion in that while his mind tells him he is going to fall to his death, he is willing to suspend that judgment, and when he actually steps out into a seeming void, he finds that this was an illusion.

To contribute your film, click on add child page below. In the Body section of the Edit page, include the following: 

  1. Your Film
  2. Number of Hexaflex points
  3. The part where the character says something
  4. ACT Principle represented

Simple as that!

Hope we have a lot of fun and learning with this,

Julian McNally

Julian McNally

A Beautiful Mind - 4 Hexaflex points (acceptance, defusion, values, committed action)

A Beautiful Mind - 4 Hexaflex points (acceptance, defusion, values, committed action)
  1. Beautiful Mind
  2. Pretty much the whole thing. The main character, John Nash (Nobel Prize winner in economics), has schizophrenia and despite active hallucinations and delusions, he chooses NOT to be on antipsychotic medication (side effects are blunted affect and he isn't as clear in his genious mathematical ability). Nash chooses to just let his hallucinations be present and not to let his behavior be guided by belief in them as literal "truth". In turn, they follow him around for the rest of his life; a vital life full of meaningful experiences with his wife and his work.
  3. ACT Principles: acceptance, willingness, defusion, choice and valued action.

A Beautiful Mind - Comment submitted by Steven Hayes on February 12, 2006.

We all have our little girls following us around, hallucination or no. We need to learn to acknowledge them and then, sad though it is, to learn to be silent if it is costing us what we value to do otherwise.

You could do a lot worse when asked to explain ACT that simply to say "it is teaching folks how to do A Beautiful Mind thing with their own struggles"

- S

Steven C. Hayes, University of Nevada

Jen Plumb

About Schmidt (2002)

About Schmidt (2002)

This movie is all about psychological inflexibility. Warren Schmidt (magnificent played by Jack Nicholson) is a man who's identity is built around his work (he is vice-president of an insurance-company). The film starts with his retirement's party: beautiful words spoken, compliments given..., but only one day later he discovers that he's not welcome anymore at the office, and all his work ends up in a garbage can. Soon after that his wife suddenly dies, and although he feels like a prisoner in his marriage for over 42 years, he loses in a short time everything.

From that moment on his orderly life becomes chaotic and impulsive. He start's traveling with his king-size camper, visiting his daughter, finding out that he has never connected to her because of his work and now she doesn't need him anymore. He's afraid of intimacy and is running away from it or he spoils the moments were it's growing. He can only connect to his "true" feelings in the letters to Ngudu, a foster-child in Africa he has adopted for $22 a month, and to whom he writes from time to time (although the child is to young to read his letters).

It is there where psychological flexibility starts, painfully facing the life he lived. I would say a movie about self-as-content, experiential avoidance, lack of values and impulsive behaviors.

Must-see!!!

Paul Korsten

American Beauty

American Beauty
  1. American Beauty
  2. Much of the movie can be cast into terms relevant to clinical work with ACT. I often refer to people having an "American Beauty" moment in which they wake up one day and realize how their lack of mindfulness/life momentum has led them very far off-course from a path consistent with their values (like the Kevin Spacey character and others).
  3. ACT Principle: There are numerous illustrations of mindfulness (and lack thereof) and the cost of experiential avoidance in the behaviors and choices of the characters.
Joel Guarna

American History X - Hexaflex points: 6

American History X - Hexaflex points: 6
  1. American History X
  2. 6 hexaflex points
  3. I think this film could be seen as illustrating all the Hexaflex points: 

Contact with the present moment- (this is the one I'm least sure about): there is a scene between the main character (white supremacist Derrick Vinyard) & a fellow prisoner (Lamont), who is black, where Derrick manages to make contact with the humour of Lamont's impression of 'angry sex' despite his deeply ingrained mind story of racial hatred.

Acceptance - two scenes stand out here: the first is when Derrick is recovering in the prison hospital after being raped & he is visited by his old school principal, Dr Sweeney, & for the first time in the film Derrick accepts any other emotion than anger, which is demonstrated by his crying (sadness) & acknowledgment of not knowing what to do (uncertainty). Second example is toward the end of the film when Derrick is asked by the police to help deal with the inevitable inter-racial tensions following an attack &, despite Derrick not wanting to get involved, he reluctantly agrees to help as he sees that he must accept his responsibility for the situation.

Defusion - the whole of the film post Derrick's release from prison is about him defusing from his racist beliefs & trying to achieve the same with his younger brother, Danny.

Self-as-content: Similarly, Derrick & Danny both identify strongly with their white supremacist beliefs throughout most of the film, even to the point of tattooing swastikas on to themselves, adopting the skinhead hairstyle, indulging in racist attacks etc. It is only when they can stand back from this view can they find compassion & a flexibility of mind.

Values: during the previosuly mentioned scene when Derrick is in the prison hospital & is visited by Dr Sweeney, he is asked by his ex-principal "Has anything you've done made your life better?" This is clearly a turning point for Derrick who then accepts Dr Sweeney's advice & acts on it by reading the books he has brought him. He also defuses from his racist view of the man & sees his true worth. His belief in his racist values is also undermined when he sees the leader of the white supremacist gang trade drugs with a Mexican gang - he remains true to his values at that point by leaving their protection, but pays a heavy price when he is then raped by the gang members.

Commitment: On leaving prison Derrick commits to turning his back on his racist way of life & behaving truer to his values of being a good example for his younger brother & trying to do his best for his family (with whom he previously fought & bullied). 

martinalster

Another movie with ACT-like messages is Happy Feet

Another movie with ACT-like messages is Happy Feet

Surprisingly and overwhelmingly ACT-consistent...Happy FeetI don't have time right now for the whole hexaflex thing but I just saw Happy Feet. For those of you who don't know, it is an animated Disney film with penguin stars. It was great, and there are wonderful messages in there about acceptance and valuing. It would be great to watch with children to spark discussions about all kinds of things from prejudice to global warming. Plus, it was just really darn cute! 

I should note that there are definitely some stereotyped characters in this movie. If anyone is offended by those kinds of things, be forewarned. Still, I think that the message far outweighs that stuff.

Amy

amymurrell

Buck (2011)

Buck (2011)

The film focuses on the life of a current day horse handler/cowboy living his values while acknowledging past abuse, even drawing on what that experience got him in contact with and utilizing it. Acceptance, committed action and present moment focus are all over the place.
 

Community

Click

Click
Briefly... Click is a movie that brings values work to life, an example of the dangers of striving and clinging. Leads the viewer to ask the question: I only live once, am I living it the way I want?
Casey Capps

Crash (defusion. commited action and values)

Crash (defusion. commited action and values)

There is not a particular scene in Crash that I think demonstrates the issues of values and defusion, I think as a therapist you could use the film as a whole to talk about values and defusion (evaluation, that is).

The movie is about racism in Los Angeles, how ordinary people do nasty things to each other on the basis of prejudice and how people make choices in the service of their values and in the service of fear.

To start with evaluation: You could ask a client who are the bad guys and who are the good guys. The nice thing about the movie is that all the characters are doing things that hurt other people and that help other people. So there is no good or bad. And you could talk about how prejudice is something we all do, because of relational framing. And that you can ACT in a different way.

The aspect of values and commited action is closely related. You can talk with a client about the characters: When do they move in the direction of their values and when are they moving in a opposite direction. And relate this to values that clients have for themselves.

Jacqueline

Jacqueline A-Tjak

Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown

1. Elizabethtown
2. Number of Hexaflex Points :3
3. When Kirstin Dunst says to Orlando Boom: ' ok, you failed. You failed, you failed, you failed etc' ; whole movie is about living a values-led life, in the present
4. Nice example of defusion through repetition as per Milk, milk, milk

However,example of self as content when Dunst is fused with what it means to be 'a Claire' (ie the 'substitute' person).
 

lhayes

I ♥ Huckabees

I ♥ Huckabees
  1. I ♥ Huckabees
  2. Pretty much the whole film, but especially the conversations between the Dustin Hoffman and Anjelica Huston characters.
  3. ACT Principles: Live a rich, meaningful life and what has experiential avoidance cost you?
Julian McNally

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade: 3 hexaflex points (acceptance, defusion, committed action)

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade: 3 hexaflex points (acceptance, defusion, committed action)
  1. Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade
  2. 3 hexaflex points
  3. When Indiana is just about to get to the holy grail, he finds himself stuck at the edge of a seemingly bottomless chasm. He reads a riddle that suggests that the only way to get across the chasm is to take a leap of faith. So he steps out into mid air, seemingly to fall to his death. Instead, he finds that there is actually a hidden bridge that was built to blend seemlessly into the backdrop of the chasm and his step lands on terra firma. Whew!
  4. The scene illustrates committed action, in that Indiana takes a step towards his quest even when unsure of the outcome. It illustrates willingness/acceptance in that the move is leap of faith, requiring him to make room for his fear. And it illustrates defusion in that while his mind tells him he is going to fall to his death, he is willing to suspend that judgment, and when he actually steps out into a seeming void, he finds that this was an illusion.
Jason Luoma

Inside Out

Inside Out

Inside Out - Disney/Pixar

It's hard to isolate any particular ACT relevant scenes - the whole movie was an animated version of ACT come to life!  Essentially, Riley (11 year old girl) has to learn to live with a new life that her parents have chosen, leaving her old, highly valued life behind.  She has 4 emotions controlling her from inside her brain - Joy (the dominant emotion up to this point), Sadness, Anger and Disgust. 

Due to the new experiences of distress, loneliness, disappointment and anger, Riley starts to experince 'negative' emotions for the first time and Joy has huge problems accepting this.  She fights desperately and valiantly to prevent Riley experiencing Sadness, but eventually learns to accept that Sadness is a valid emotion and has a useful part to play.  Riley is eventually able to include Sadness, for the old friends and life she has left behind, while building a new life in her new town, heading back towards her values. 

Plus, it's really sweet, funny and engaging. 

jenny_anne_smith

It's a wonderful life (5 ACT processes)

It's a wonderful life (5 ACT processes)

It’s a wonderful life: ACT processes

1. Contact with the present moment (and lack of): This I think is illustrated through George’s suicide attempt. He believes he has lost the money from the Building and Loan and that he his a failure and that now Potter will win (and it will be his fault). Such is George’s sense of dejection and impending rejection by the towns people that he attempts to escape by jumping from the bridge. Not only does George not want to be in contact with the present moment, but he wants to have never been born at al.

Georges decision at the end of the movie to have his life back demonstrates this beautifully I think. Before he realises the towns people have all come to help him out he takes his life back and contacts the present moment (which at that point is one of uncertainty over the missing money). He allows himself to be present and open to their criticism and the consequences of losing the money to find their love, help and support instead

2. Acceptance: This is perhaps demonstrated by George’s desire to keep living with the uncertain consequences he faces. I think the key message George takes from Clarence is that it is that upsetting things happen AND it's a wonderful life.

3. Defusion/fusion. Not explicit, but George does not explicitly decide that he has not let the towns people down, it is possible that he stills feels this way, but he has defused from it enough to allow himself to be present with the towns people and the consequences of losing the money.

4. Values: George values helping the town people. He values his family, he values making the town a better place and protecting it from exploitation from Potter

5. Commitment: In the movie, George not only values his values but is actively committed to not letting Potter exploit the town for his own financial gain. His actions are focused on changing the physical (i.e. fighting against Potter- a workable change agenda)

6. Self-as-context: not sure about this one, might there be a sixth process hiding in the movie somehwere

Aidan Hart

Kumare - 4/5 Hexaflex Points

Kumare - 4/5 Hexaflex Points

This is a great documentary film about someone who's fed up with the fake gurus in India, and decides to dress up as a guru and start a mini cult in the US, to prove that anyone can pretend to be a guru and get a cult following.

Has anyone else seen it? I think it's brilliant!

1. Present moment - Kumare does teach people meditation, but it's a fake version, and people start getting the experiencing he's suggesting, so maybe not.

2. Acceptance/Willingness - Interestingly some of his 'followers' full accept him and his 'teachings'. And this shows the danger of gurus.

3. Defusion - Through his teachings, people defuse from their own limiting beliefs, but then they fuse with his beliefs. So this is a great teaching about the danger of fusing from one idea to another.

4. Observer Self - Not touched upon much

5. Values - I'm impressed by the values of the director, to seek the truth

5. Commited Action - The actions of the director/main actor and also how he followed through with what he believed, right through to the end - PS - it's a brilliant ending!

Here's the IMDB link with trailer: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1865425/ 

shamashalidina

Moonstruck

Moonstruck
  1. Moonstruck 
  2.  Fusion (with rules) 
  3. Right from beginning to end, ths movie is so filled with just about every character following rules that clearly are so restrictive on their lives. This makes the movie very funny, enjoyable and accessible, yet incredibly profound. The huge exception to this when the character played by Nicholoas Cage tells a confused woman (Cher) something like "Life is not a storybook, that you can look up to see what to do next. Love is about destroying life ... ..."
  4. In the context of the movie, these audacious words, just hit out, with an irresistable invitation to vitality - a vivid contrast to following rules blindly (fusion) without any reference to values. The mother with her more philosophical approach would seem to be a contrast to blind rule following, however this is at the cost of avoiding strong emotions (and whatever actions) at her husbands behaviours.
Bernard Parker

My Life Without Me (2003): 5 hexaflex points

My Life Without Me (2003): 5 hexaflex points
  1. My Life Without Me (2003)
  2. It’s a beautiful movie of a young woman, Ann. Mother of 2 little kids, living a hard life with little future: low job, husband unemployed, poor housing, little money, little support of her family. One day she discovers that she’s seriously ill and has little time to live. This changes her life and way of life radical. She makes a list of things she wants to do and starts doing them, living life to the max. Very good!
  3. ACT Principle: Acceptance, Values, Committed Action, Self as context, Mindfulness
Paul Korsten

SPY KIDS

SPY KIDS

I have been using film clips since I was a school counselor and would do in-class interactive social skills lessons. I will bring DVD's into my office and play them for a client on my laptop. One clip I like to use with couples is from the first SPY KIDS film where the mother is telling her kids the story of how she met and married their father. The sequence is beautifully put together in terms of how she and her soon to be husband were spies working on different sides and began dating and hid their connection and then made the commitment. The mother narrates how her commitment to getting married was scarier than any spy mission. The scene of their wedding is a great illustration of commitment and action even in the face of turbulence and threats. Their wedding is interrupted by an attacking helicopter. There is a great shot of the priest holding the Bible while pages are blown out of it by the gusts from the helicopter's blades (challenges to our values and commitment). The last part of the scene that my couples find the most powerful is when the couple is running away and they look into each other's eyes as if telling each other, "I am in this with you no matter what." They then jump off a cliff together and escape into a speeding boat.

Therapeutically, after I show the clip I will invite the client to track in their body to see what was stirred by the images. Film clips are a great way to help clients move from image to sensation and process through fight, flight, and freeze responses.

- Max Stoltenberg, LPC, CHt

max1964

Song of the Sea

Song of the Sea

In "Song fo the Sea," this child-friendly movie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgbXWt8kM5Q) provides really great metaphors for: 

(i.) Experiential Avoidance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mUie8Z85iE); 

(ii.) Cost of Avoidance vs. Opening Up (time: ~ 1:01:00 ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPu4etlfCRg). 

It is one of the most beautiful movies I have seen in the past decade! 

I hope you find it interesting and/or useful! :) 

 

 

(Submitted by Jonathan Rhodes on April 19, 2024)

jonathanrhodes49

The Shawshank Redemption.

The Shawshank Redemption.

The Shawshank Redemption

1.The Shawshank Redemption -pretty much a definitive ACT movie for me! (I recently watched it again within an ACT framework!!)

2. 6 Hexaflex points.

3. As illustrated by:-

CONTACT WITH THE PRESENT MOMENT: Beautifully illustrated in the scene when Andy plays Mozart over the prison and the everybody just stops and listens ( 1 point).

SELF AS CONTEXT: As a punishment for playing the music, Andy is placed into solitary confinement and after his release he tells his fellow convicts that he “had Mr. Mozart to keep me company...[points and taps his head.] It was in here …[gestures over his heart] and in here. That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you. Haven't you ever felt that way about music?” Red (Morgan Freeman)says that he played the Harmonica as a young man, but lost interest in it and that it didn’t make much sense playing it in prison – Andy says “No, here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget”. “Forget?” asks Red, “That there are places in the world that aren't made out of stone. That there's... there's somethin' inside that they can't get to; that they can't touch. It's yours” says Andy (self as context / pure awareness – 1 point).

DEFUSION:Fusion is illustrated when Red says “I’ve been in here most of my life. I’m an institutional man now…just like Brooks was”. Andy replies ““you underestimate yourself” and Red says “I don’t think so” (1 point)

COMMITTED ACTION AND VALUES: Andy talks to Red about his vision of life in a little town in Mexico and life as a free man – he focuses on owning a hotel and a boat (which are goals but I’m sure we could find some values in there somewhere!!) Red (‘passenger on the bus’) says “I don’t think you ought to be doing this to yourself, Andy. I mean mexico is way down there and you’re in here and that’s the way it is”. Andy replies “Yeah right. That’s the way it is. It’s down there and I’m in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice really…get busy living…or get busy dying”. (highlighting the reality gap between where he is and where he wants to be – within the valued domain of freedom (2 points?)

ACCEPTANCE: Spoiler alert (!) Towards the end of the movie when red is up for parole his rehabilitation officer asks red if he’s been rehabilitated. Red replies “Rehabilitated?... Well, now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means”. The rehabilitation officer informs Red that it means he is “ready to rejoin society” and Red says “ I know what you think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made-up word. A politician's word, so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really wanna know? Am I sorry for what I did? The rehabilitation officer asks “are you?” and Red replies “There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here; or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that left. I gotta live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So go ahead and stamp your forms, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit (some acceptance in there!? – 1 point)

MORE COMMITTED ACTION: “ I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head (defusion!) I think it is the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain I hope I can make it across the border (do what it takes!).. I hope to see my friend (values), and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope”
 

SJOGDAWN

The Zookeeper

The Zookeeper
  1. The Zookeeper - a Ralph Ziman film starring Sam Neill
  2. Number of Hexaflex points: 3
  3. A moving film set in an unspecified Eastern European country that has a Bosnian like civil war raging, in which a zookeeper, Ludovic (a superb performance by Sam Neill) is haunted by his past, when he wielded power over a local populace. Only after he meets Ankica ( who, with her son, are refugees from the fighting seeking sanctuary in the now all but deserted zoo) who recounts the horrors she has experienced at the hands of someone in that position, does he begin to accept what he has done, allowing him to emotionally thaw out a little. He also hides his feelings for his dead wife, literally in a box hidden away, which is found by Ankica who tells him his feelings are 'beautiful', again allowing him to accept the caring side of himself (toward people) more. There is an interesting portrayal of the (sometimes) subtle difference between running away from our experience & moving toward a valued direction: Ludovic appears to hold the value of being a good person strongly (represented by him being only one of two people willing to stay on & care for the animals when everyone else has left), but Ankica questions whether this is in fact a cover for running away from connectedness with other people, & by extension, himself. Committed action is demonstrated by Ludovic as he begins his emotional thawing & looks after both Ankica & her son, Zioig, as well as his caring for the zoo animals, & toward the end of the film, himself. This is an interesting portrayal of achieving psychological flexibility: he finally agrees to deviate from his rigid pattern of behaviour (staying with the animals) & leave when it is clear that all is lost. He shows anger initially when this course of action is suggested, much like someone holding on to behaviour that is self-defeating but at least familiar.
  4. Score: 3/5.
martinalster

Three Kings (1999) movie

Three Kings (1999) movie

The scene in Three Kings is a post-Desert Storm battle among soldiers.

George Clooney and Spike Jonez are taking cover from the hail of gunfire. Spike's character is afraid of going out and shooting back and the following ensues:

Archie Gates (G.Clooney): You're scared, right?

Conrad Vig (Spike): Maybe.

Archie Gates: The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.

Conrad Vig: That's a dumbass way to work. It should be the other way around.

Archie Gates: I know. That's the way it works.

 

- I like this one when talking to 25-39 year old anxious males...Probably not useful for everyone, but I dig it.

DJ Moran

Walk The Line

Walk The Line
  1. Walk The Line
  2. The June Carter character exemplified committed action in the service of a value that was dear to her. The value I would identify (not verbalized by her in the film), would be something like 'Marriage as a committed friendship' or 'Building intimacy'. Some of the elements of committed action on her part included remaining Johnny's friend when he was at his least likeable, rejecting his excessive and self-destructive behaviors while continuing to love him, even remarrying when she couldn't have Johnny. Mind you, he also exemplified similar committed action in continuing to ask her to marry him despite repeatedly being blocked in achieving the desired outcome :).
  3. ACT Principle: Outcome is the Process through which Process Becomes the Outcome
Julian McNally

Yes Man (2008)

Yes Man (2008)
  1. Yes Man (2008)
  2. The movie is about a man distraught over his girlfriend breaking up with him. He refuses to do anything except stay home and watch videos. His friend drags him to a motivational seminar where the message is "Say YES to Life!" He does and his life changes radically for the better. A very fun romantic comedy with Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel.
Dan Opdyke

ACT Relevant Books/Stories

ACT Relevant Books/Stories
The purpose of this is to share ACT relevant books or stories that might help make ACT relevant points. Like the songs and metaphors pages it would be good to share the story/book or gist of it, and any ACT relevant points it might be making.
Aidan Hart

Children's Books for Adults

Children's Books for Adults

One of my favorite ways to teach defusion is to read children's books to adults, especially books that were likely read to them in childhood like Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein, etc. Hearing these stories as an adult helps change their perspective on issues they are facing (I use in a substance use treatment setting, but they can of course be applied to many others). I will start a list of stories that I currently use in my groups, but I'd like to know how many others use this intervention, and what stories you use.

Travis Graff

"Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr Seuss

"Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr Seuss

Plot from wikipedia

"The story begins with the narrator, relating the decision of the unnamed protagonist (who represents the reader) to leave town. The protagonist travels through several geometrical and polychromatic landscapes and places, eventually encountering a place simply called "The Waiting Place", which is ominously addressed as being a place where everyone is always waiting for something to happen. As the protagonist continues to explore, spurred on by the thoughts of places he will visit and things he will discover, the book cheerfully concludes with an open end."

Hexaflex points addressed

Self-As-Context - At one point the narrator talks about how difficult some of the challenges you will faces will be. "Games you can't win, Cause you'll play against you."

Commited Action - The narrator tells the reader about getting in a slump he states "Unslumping yourself is not easily done." But the point is to keep moving forward

Experiential Avoidance - The Waiting Place is where people are waiting for things to happen to them instead making things happen. It doesn't say exactly why, but I think it's fair to say that they are waiting to avoid being uncomfortable. This reminds me of the Waiting for the Wrong Train metaphor.

Travis Graff

"The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein

"The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein

I think that this book was written to show how far a parent would go for their child. When I read it though, I leave out the last couple pages, because I use this story a lot to show the impact of codependence on anything (substances for my treatment). The tree represents the patient, and the boy represents drugs. Sometimes I pull in some RFT principles and have the patients imagine what the experience is like for the apples, or the leaves, or the boat.

Plot from Wikipedia

The book follows the lives of a female apple tree and a boy, who develop a relationship with one another. The tree is very "giving" and the boy evolves into a "taking" teenager, man, then elderly man. Despite the fact that the boy ages in the story, the tree addresses the boy as "Boy" his entire life.

In his childhood, the boy enjoys playing with the tree, climbing her trunk, swinging from her branches, carving "Me + T (Tree)" into the bark, and eating her apples. However, as the boy grows older, he spends less time with the tree and tends to visit her only when he wants material items at various stages of his life, or not coming to the tree alone (such as bringing a lady friend to the tree and carving "Me +Y.L." (her initials) into the tree. In an effort to make the boy happy at each of these stages, the tree gives him parts of herself, which he can transform into material items, such as money (from her apples), a house (from her branches), and a boat (from her trunk). With every stage of giving, "the Tree was happy".

In the final pages, both the tree and the boy feel the sting of their respective "giving" and "taking" nature. When only a stump remains for the tree (including the carving "Me + T"), she is not happy, at least at that moment. The boy does return as a tired elderly man to meet the tree once more. She tells him she is sad because she cannot provide him shade, apples, or any materials like in the past. He ignores this and states that all he wants is "a quiet place to sit and rest," which the tree, who is weak being just a stump, could provide. With this final stage of giving, "the Tree was happy".

Hexafles processes addressed

Fusion - The Tree fuses to the thought that it can only be happy when The Boy was around or when she doing something for The Boy. It even becomes literally fused to when intitials are carved into The Tree. 

Experiential Avoidance - The Tree will do anything she can to avoid making The Boy feel like he can't do anything, because that would make her sad. 

Travis Graff

When sadness is at your door

When sadness is at your door
A lovely book to teach acceptance/diffusion. A child opens the door to sadness visiting. At first the child tries to shove it in the closet and avoid it, then "it feels like you've become sadness yourself" (the child is surrounded by sadness). The narrator reccomend giving sadness a name, asking what it needs, taking it outside, and doing some things "you both enjoy". In the final part, the sadness character turns into a blanket.
kelseydrifmeyer

Chinese Farmer Story

Chinese Farmer Story

I heard this story in passing years ago, and have used iterations of it. It was only after learning more about ACT had I realized I was using a story to relate avoiding fusion to thoughts positive or negative thoughts/feelings. This iteration I borrowed online, but provide the name of the source:

The Story of the Chinese Farmer

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.

Alan Watts
 

jesse.zainey

Enchiridion of Epictetus

Enchiridion of Epictetus

This is my paraphrase of the famous brief Stoic work, with the sections labeled with the Core Flexibility Processes - because they just seem to fit so well. This might be a source of new stories or metaphors for your work.  Epictetus doesn't always sound like an ACT therapist - but almost always.

roger.neu

Perhaps

Perhaps
This story helps illustrate that events are not inherently "good" or "bad"
Gina Tormohlen

The Little Prince

The Little Prince

From The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This is from one of my favourite books.

It has many ACT relevant moments in it, this is just one of them:

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection.

"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.

"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.

"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.

"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.

"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.

"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.

"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.

"Ashamed of drinking!" The tippler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled. "grown-ups are certainly very, very odd," he said to himself, as he continued on his journey.

I think this makes some nice ACT-relevant points about fusion, experiential avoidance and the futility of avoidance/control strategies.

The tippler is fused with his feeling of shame to the extent that he must avoid it by drinking. However, the costs and consequences of his drinking is further shame that he also fuses with and must avoid, also by drinking.

The tippler is essentially drowning in an alcoholic quicksand. The more he drinks to escape, the more bad stuff shows up, so the more he has to drink to escape a little bit more.

The Little Prince, who is essentially a child who has lived alone and has not been exposed to a verbal community where fusion and avoidance repertoires have fully developed sees this as being very odd indeed.

Aidan Hart

Things the grandchildren should know

Things the grandchildren should know

For a great example of someone dignifying their values with pain, I can whole-heartedly recommend the autobiography "Things the grandchildren should know" by Mark Everett (Lead singer of the band Eels). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Things_the_Grandchildren_Should_Know

From publisher:

How does one young man survive the deaths of his entire family and manage to make something of his life? The insecure son of a misunderstood genius of quantum mechanics, Mark Oliver Everett's upbringing was "ridiculous, sometimes tragic, and always unsteady." But somehow he survived this and ensuing tragedies, channeling his experiences into his critically acclaimed music with the Eels.

Told with surprising candor, his memoir is an inspiring and remarkable story, full of hope, humor, and wry wisdom.

Declan

ACT Relevant Songs

ACT Relevant Songs

 

Sometimes it can be useful to play a piece of music at the beginning of a session or a group to more rapidly create a particular emotional tone for doing a certain piece of work in ACT.

If you use any music with clients, workshops, or groups, please share below so that others can benefit.

For example, I know that John Forsyth said that sometimes he uses Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" as an opening for his workshops.

To contribute your song, click on "add child page" below.
In the Body section of the Edit page, type

  1. My song
  2. ACT Principle: Defusion (or whatever it is)
  3. Any recommendations on how to use the song

Hint: You can copy and paste the text above so that you don't have to keep track of all the HTML code.

Looking forward to the ideas. Cheers!

Jason Luoma

Acceptance and Commitment Song - Lou Lasprugato

Acceptance and Commitment Song - Lou Lasprugato

Acceptance and Commitment Song - Lou Lasprugato

Lyrics: 

There's suffering when you run away from pain
Expecting change but doing more of the same
And it's a long way down when your mind pushes you around

Open up
Open up
Step into this space
See what you need to face
To get through
To get through
What matters to you
What matters to you

It's hard when love's all but lost
And your best is not good enough
And you fill with fear when you're anywhere but here

Open up
Open up
Step into this space
See what you need to face
To get through
To get through
What matters to you
What matters to you

As you move
As you sway
In the eye of the storm
In the depths of the pain
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice hurt?
Will you let it be?
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice love?
Will you let it be?
And breathe... 

ACBS staff

Amos Lee - Supply and Demand

Amos Lee - Supply and Demand

ACT Principle: Creative Hopelessness and missing out on Values

Any recommendations on how to use the song : A fellow ACT therapist used hits during one of the first sessions of an Anger group.

Here's the lyrics:
Somethin’ gotta give with the way I’m livin’
Seems I’m gettin’ down everyday
The more I strive, the less I’m alive
And seems i’m gettin’ further away

Oh well all my superstitions and my crazy suspicions
Of the people that I care about
I been doin’ more screamin’ than i been doin’ dreamin’
And I think it’s time I figured it out

Yeah baby I need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

I been goin’ joggin’ in the park after dark
Draggin’ ’round with me my ball and chain
Took southern skies to make me realize
That I’m causin’ myself this pain

The woman that I’m lovin’ yeah I’m pushin’ and shovin’
Getting further on by the day
And I can’t understand how the heart of this man
Ever let it end up this way

Yeah baby I need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

When the road gest dark and lonesome dear
You can find me here
But honey you don’t know where I am
You need a friieend yeeaahh
Life ain’t easy in fact I know it’s sleazy
When you’re the big man in town
Shakin’ religions and makin’ decisions
You never get slow on down

Well your wife and your baby you tell them yeah well maybe
I’ll meet y’all at a weekend resort
Put your eyes on the prize and you can realize
Your little girl’s life’s so short

Brother you need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand
Yeah sister you need a plan to understand
That life ain’t only supply and demand

Hey, you better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down, yeah
You better figure it out now
You know you ain’t comin’ back down

Submitted by Catherine B. Clemmer, MSW, LCSW

Jennifer Krafft

Cat Stevens - if you want to sing out

Cat Stevens - if you want to sing out

Commited action, Values

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out Songtext
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
and if you want to be free, be free
'cause there's a miilion things to be
you know that there are.

And if you want to live high, live high
and if you want to live low, live low
'cause there's a million ways to go
you now that there are.

You can do what you want
the opportunity's on
and if you find a new way
you can do it today
you will make it all true
and you can make it undo
you see ah ah, it's easy ah ah,
you only need to know.

Well, if you want to say yes, say yes
and if you want to say no, say no
'cause there's a million ways to go
you know that there are

Ansd if you want to be me, be me
and if you want to be you, be you
'cause there's a million things to do
you know that there are.

You can do what you want
the opportunity's on
and if you find a new way
you can do it today
you will make it all true
and you can make it undo
you see ah ah, it's easy ah ah,
you only need to know.

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
and if you want to be free, be free
'cause there' s a million things to be
you know that there are
you know that there are
you know that there are
you know that there are.

karinsch

Colin Hay - Overkill

Colin Hay - Overkill

Originally submitted by Nick Frye

I think this song is such as great description of cognitive fusion and could be used to help explain that concept as well as using the lyrics "ghosts appear then fade away" as a great to discuss defusion.

"Overkill"

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know we'll be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations that
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away

Jennifer Krafft

Drive--Incubus

Drive--Incubus

Hi,

Great idea!

I haven't used this with clients, but I've always thought the song "Drive" by Incubus is very ACT consistent.

Here's the first verse: "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel."

Could be used in conjunction with the monsters-on-the-bus exercise, or any number of exercises that focus on avoidance.

Mary

mcpoliti

Gossip - Move in the right direction

Gossip - Move in the right direction

Acceptance and commited action (*there is just one unfortunate limitation in the song, which is the sentence "I hold back tears" - it is not ACT-conform)

Move in the Right Direction
Gossip


One step closer, I'm feeling fine
Getting better one day at a time
I'm moving forward with all of my might
I'm headed toward a new state of mind


So I hold back tears*
Move in the right direction
Face my fears
Move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh


Motivation of powerful strength
Hesitation was my first instinct
I got the notion my weakness was
Total devotion, it's okay because


I will hold back tears*
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh


Keeping my head up
Looking forward
Reminiscing will get you nowhere
Never say never
Starting over
It's not perfect, but it's getting closer


I'll hold back tears*
So I can move in the right direction
I have faced my fears
Now I can move in the right direction
I'm doing fine
One step closer every day at a time
I won't lose my mind, lose my mind
Uh-uh... oooooh

 

karinsch

Keep Breathing By Ingrid Michaelson

Keep Breathing By Ingrid Michaelson

This song is about being in the present moment and recognizing what you have control over and what you don't have control over.  It is also about not being "hooked" by your thoughts.

jenmolslight

L.A. Song by Beth Hart

L.A. Song by Beth Hart

This song is great at illustrating how a woman was using emotional avoidance to escape from emotional pain.  She eventually realizes that she needs to face her emotions and her issues directly she needs to come towards them rather than run from them.  She chooses to engage in committed action by returning to L.A. After she has this realization, her emotional pain subsides.

jenmolslight

Life is Hard - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Life is Hard - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

a great song about acceptance (and of course because its sung, it is defusion as well)

"Life Is Hard"

Life is beauty through and through
Life is sunny, life is cool
Life is even easy too
But if my word is to be true
Life is something to behold
But if the truth is to be told
Let us not leave out any part
Do not fear, it's safe to say it here
You will not be called a weakling nor a fraud
For feeling the pain of the whole wide world
You want to help but can't help the feeling you cannot
And it's killing you while you're just trying to smile from your heart
So go on, say it, on the same knees you're praying
Yes, life is hard

Come celebrate
Life is hard
Come celebrate Life is hard
Our life is all we are

Celebrate it in the sun, promenade it with everyone
Elevate it in a song
And I'll be there to play it, don't get me wrong
When I feel like dying and being gone
When life is hard
There's just one thing, let's not forget
Yes! life is it!
Life is it, life is it, it's where it's at
It's getting skinny, getting fat
It's falling deep into a love,
It's getting crushed just like a bug
Life there's no love, it's getting beat into the ground
It's getting lost and getting found,
To growing up and getting round
It's feeling silence, feeling sound
It's feeling lonely, feeling full
It's feeling oh so beautiful!
Yes!

Come celebrate
Life is hard
Come celebrate
Life is hard
Our life is all we are

bensedley

Linkin Park - Heavy

Linkin Park - Heavy

This song demonstrates the concepts of Acceptance, Being Present, Defusion, and Self As Context 

 

I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can’t escape the gravity


I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?


You say that I'm paranoid
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me
It's not like I make the choice
To let my mind stay so fucking messy
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same


I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?


I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything’s about me


Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?
Why is everything so heavy?

Travis Graff

Live Like A Warrior

Live Like A Warrior

Good song for diffusion - especially if you sing it :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p53pDNodxHE

kpatton_cbt

Live Like You Were Dying--Tim McGraw

Live Like You Were Dying--Tim McGraw

Song: Live Like You were Dying--Tim McGraw 

 

ACT concepts: Mindfulness/Awareness:

"...and I watched an eagle as it was flying"

 

Values:

"and I loved deeper

and I spoke sweeter

and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying

and he said someday I hope you get the chance

to live like you were dying

He said I was finally the husband

that most the time I wasn't

and I became a friend

a friend would like to have

and all the sudden going fishin

wasn't such an imposition

and I went three times

that year I lost my dad"

 

Again, not sure how to use this in therapy, but pretty ACT consistent.

mcpoliti

Mixtapes - Bad Parts

Mixtapes - Bad Parts

ACT Principle(s): Acceptance, Committed Action

Recommendations On Use: I have not used this song clinically yet. I'm a trainee, and have hesitated based on (1) the blatant (though effective) use of a top 7 swear word, and (2) the VERY pop-punk sound, which I happen to love, but recognize many people find grating. That being said, as a clinician working with young adults with SUDs in various stages of readiness to change their substance use, it feels particularly fitting.  I may bring it to a second-year practicum in my role as an advanced student supervisor first.

Lyrics:

I don't know what we're doing this for
Say we're getting better while we're passed out on the floor
And then we find a way to forget through the years
We wish the bad parts would just disappear
But they're not going anywhere
We're not going any-
Where

I wish I could tell you why I
Have this need to get the hell out before I die.
I'm not kidding myself that it's different somewhere else
Guess I just want to try and find new faces who don't want to just forget
Instead of lubing up the awkward parts
They want to break their fucking habits.

It's time
We stop saying why
And make it fucking happen
And make something happen
No, no

Hannah told me she's unhappy all the time she's been in school
But she does it anyway
Hey, Christina does it too
And Sarah told me her relationship was making her blue
But she takes what she can get
And when she can forget
The things he called her last night
She knows he's heaven-sent.

It's time
We stop saying why
And make it fucking happen
And make something happen
No, no

vameral

Nickelback- If today was your last day

Nickelback- If today was your last day

Nickelback- If today was your last day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtlsyifVaMI

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
(If today was your last day)

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

An Strauven

Sarah Blasko - Always on this line

Sarah Blasko - Always on this line

Fusion; the song (and the video) illustrates rigid rule-governed behavior and its costs, like the lack of and longing for vitality. 

Always on this line

As the day turns to night
under these suburban skies
think of all willing lies, of cutting ties,
the emptiness,

At first light, first sight,
the world seems like a miracle,
but try to hold it in your hands
and watch it get away,
oh the ugliness of fate,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line

But it's alright, it's okay,
when there's excuses in your way,
you can try, just make it up,
settle down but don't look up,

At first bite, first lie,
the world seems like it serves you well,
but try to catch it in your hands,
treating it like a slave of the emptiness you crave,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line,

Oh, it might be unkind of me to make you feel bad,
it might be a shame of me to treat you like that,
when there's everything you've worked for in your life,
on this line,

When you're always on this line,
when you're always on this line,
you could've crossed a million times,
but you're always on this line,
oh, put your hands up,
claim your crime,
'cause you never had the time,
you still get to work just fine,
when you're always on this line

karinsch

The Art of Letting Go - Rachel Collis

The Art of Letting Go - Rachel Collis

It's beautiful and the lyrics are very ACT consistent.


 

admin

The Competition - Kimya Dawson

The Competition - Kimya Dawson

The Competition - Kimya Dawson

ACT Principle: Acceptance This song is great for helping people grasp the concepts of acceptance and willingness in the midst of strong emotions and unhelpful thoughts. Popular with adolescents and younger generation clients (especially those who have seen the film Juno and may be familiar with other songs by Kimya Dawson). 

Click for the lyrics.

Anonymous (not verified)

The Hellacopters - Monkeyboy

The Hellacopters - Monkeyboy

a song that problematizes fusion and thereby creates defusion :)

Monkeyboy - The Hellacopters

I got an ape performing in my head
If he don't stop then I will soon be dead

This monkey's no friend of mine
I try to act straight but he's on cloud number nine
He's got a cup made of tin
And it's 'cause of him you won't let me in

He bangs a drum so I can't get no sleep
Well he's a monkey but he can't be beat

Head over heels on banana peel
I'm getting confused as to what I feel
And every time I try to speak
He always puts his monkeytongue in my cheek

Oh, my, my - I'd do anything to make him die
And oh then I'd see there's nothing I can do
The monkey's just a part of me

I got a monkey singing in my brain
I should have known already we're the same

Oh, my, my - I'd do anything to make him die
And oh then I'd see there's nothing I can do
The monkey's just a part of me

karinsch

The Trouble with Humans

The Trouble with Humans
Great album and song title by Chip Taylor and Carrie Rodriques The Trouble With Humans states, "I don't want to talk it-I just want to feel it." The song continues: The trouble with humans-is they're only human The Trouble with trouble-is it's always at hand But if we don't look around it-if we look right on through it We'll find the power-together we'll stand
Richard Whitney

Turn It Off (The Book of Mormon)

Turn It Off (The Book of Mormon)

Originally submitted by Deborah Stringer

The song "turn it off" from the musical "book of mormon" is a satirical tap number about the unworkability of the control agenda. It was written by the same folks who do South Park, so, as you might expect, it's not for all clients or clinicians. The lyrics are below:

The Book of Mormon lyrics: Turn it Off
I got a feeling that you could be feeling
A whole lot better than you feel today
You say you got a problem, well that's no problem
It's super easy not to feel that way
When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head
Don't feel those feelings hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch
Just go click
It's a cool little Mormon trick
We do it all the time
When you're feeling certain feelings
That just don't seem right
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
And turn em off like a light switch
Just go bap
Really what's so hard about that?
Turn it off
Turn it off

When I was young my dad would treat my mom real bad
Every time the Utah Jazz would lose
He'd start a-drinking and I'd start a-thinking
How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused
I'd see her all scared and my soul was dyin'
My dad would say to me now don't you dare start cryin'
Turn it off
Like a light switch
Just go flick
It's our nifty little Mormon trick
Turn it off
Turn it off

My sister was a dancer but she got cancer
The doctor said she still had two months more
I thought she had time so I got in line
For the new iPhone at the apple store
She laid there dying with my father and mother
Her very last words were where is my brother
Turn it off
Bid those sad feelings adieu
The fear that I might get cancer too

When I was in fifth grade I had a friend Steve Blade
He and I were close as two friends could be
One thing led to another and soon I would discover
I was having really strange feelings for Steve
I thought about us on a deserted island
We'd swim naked in the sea and then he'd try and...
Whoa!
Turn it off like a light switch
There it's gone (good for you!)
My hetero side just won
I'm all better now
Boys should be with girls that's heavenly father's plan
So if you ever feel you'd rather be with a man
Turn it off

Well, Elder McKinley, I think it's okay that you're having gay thoughts
Just so long as you never act upon them

No – cause then you're just keeping it down
Like a dimmer switch
On low (on low)
Thinking nobody needs to know (uh oh)
But that's not true
Being gay is bad but lying is worse
So just realize you have a curable curse
And turn it off
Turn it off

(Tap dancing! With red sparkly vests!)

Turn it off
Now how do you feel?
The same (ahw)
Then you've only got yourself to blame
You didn't pretend hard enough
Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes
Then find the box that's gay and crush it!
Okay?
No, no I'm not having gay thoughts
Alright! It worked! Yay!
Turn it off
Turn it off, turn it off
Turn it off, turn it off like a light switch
Just go click (click, click)
What a cool little Mormon trick (trick, trick)
We do it all the time
When you're feeling certain feelings that just don't seem right (don't seem right)
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
Turn it off like a light switch on a cord
Now he isn't gay any...
Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it
Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it
Turn it
Turn it off (off!)

Jennifer Krafft

Two ACT consistent Eels songs.

Two ACT consistent Eels songs.

For a great example of someone dignifying their values with pain, I can whole-heartedly recommend the autobiography "Things the grandchildren should know" by Mark Everett (Lead singer Eels).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Things_the_Grandchildren_Should_Know

His songs also hint at vital living: -----------------------------------------------------

Hey Man (Now You're Really Living):

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?

Cry your guts out till you got no more

Hey man, now you're really living

 

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl?

Made you feel like it's not such a bad world

Hey man, now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything

And you're really gettin' what you gave

Now you're really livin' what this life is all about

Well, I just saw the sun rise over the hill

Never used to give me much of a thrill

But, hey man, now I'm really living

 

Do you know what it's like to care too much?

About someone that you're never gonna get to touch

Hey man, now you're really living

 

Have you ever sat down in the fresh-cut grass

And thought about the moment and when it will pass

Hey man, now you're really living

Now you're really giving everything

And you're really gettin' what you gave

Now you're really livin' what this life is all about

 

Now, what would you say if I told you that

Everyone thinks you're a crazy old cat 

Hey man, now you're really living

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor?

Cry your guts out till you got no more

Hey man, now you're really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl?

Made you feel like it's not such a bad world

Hey man, now you're really living...

----------------------------------------------

P.S. You rock my world:

I was at a funeral the day i realized

I wanted to spend my life with you

Sitting down on the steps at the old post office

The flag was flying at half-mast

And I was thinkin' 'bout how everyone is dying

And maybe it's time to live

I don't know where we're going

I don't know what we'll do

Walked into the thrif-tee

Saw the man with the hollow eyes

who didn't give me all my change

But it didn't bother me this time

'cause I know I've only got this moment

And it's good

 

I went to the gas station

Old woman honked her horn

Waiting for me to fix her car

I don't know where we're going

I don't know what we'll do

Laying in bed tonight

I was thinking and listening to

all the dogs and the sirens and the shots

And how a careful man tries to dodge the bullets

While a happy man takes a walk

And maybe it's time to live ----------------------------------------------------

Declan

Various ACT Related Song Lyrics

Various ACT Related Song Lyrics

18 Song lyrics that cover a broad range of ACT concepts...Here are some ACT themes covered by various songs. See the attached file for the actual lyrics (note, some of them are abridged):

Suffering is Universal:

R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts

TOAD THE WET SPROCKET - Little Buddha 

The Problem:

RADIOHEAD - Fitter Happier

NADA SURF - Stalemate

SUPREME BEINGS OF LEISURE - What's the Deal

Acceptance:

THE BEATLES - Let it Be

JAMES BROWN - Mind Power

NITIN SAWHNEY - Letting Go

Mindfulness:

MEREDITH MONK - Walking Song (no lyrics, just breathing)

Self as Context:

AKRON/FAMILY - Franny/You're Human

NINE INCH NAILS - Only T.REX - Cosmic Dancer

Values:

ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN - What are you Going to do with Your Life?

LIONEL RITCHIE - Time

TIM MCGRAW - Live Life Like You were Dying

Willingness:

DURAN DURAN - Finest Hour

SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE - Stand!

FRANK SINATRA - My Way

Wakiza Gamez

Walk Unafraid - First Aid Kit/ REM

Walk Unafraid - First Aid Kit/ REM

This song is called Walk Unafraid, it was originally made by R.E.M and then covered by First Aid Kit for the recent move Wild. I like this because it's about encouraging someone to be willing to make a change, sitting with (or carrying) negative emotion or pain. This is especially in the lines

'If I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over'

As I see it, this song is about willingness to walk unafraid even in the presence of fear and doubt. The person may be clumsy and fall and trip but she will pick herself up and carry on. Expanding the opportunities open to her and holding her head high. 


As the sun comes up, as the moon goes down
These heavy notions creep around

It makes me think, long ago
I was brought into this life, a little lamb
A little lamb
Courageous, stumbling
Fearless was my middle name
But somewhere there I lost my way
Everyone walks the same
Expecting me to step
The narrow path they've laid
They claim to

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Verse 2]
Say "keep within the boundaries if you want to play"
Say "contradiction only makes it harder"
How can I be
What I want to be
When all I want to do is strip away
These stilled constraints
And crush this charade
Shred this sad masquerade
I don't need no persuading
I'll trip, fall, pick myself up and

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Verse 3]
If I have a bag of rocks to carry as I go
I just want to hold my head up high
I don't care what I have to step over
I'm prepared to look you in the eye
Look me in the eye
And if you see familiarity
Then celebrate the contradiction
Help me when I fall to

[Chorus]
Walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Chorus]
I will walk unafraid
I'll be clumsy instead
Hold me love or leave me high

[Outro]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

kate_2

ACT relevant poems

ACT relevant poems

ACT POEMS
A key feature of clinical ACT work is the de-literalization of language and cognition. Metaphor, story, experiential exercises, art work and other techniques can facilitate this perspective shift for clinicians and clients alike. Although poetry uses the medium of language, the art and magic of poetry is often written from and can be received by the spaciousness of the self as context.
These poems can be used in clinical settings to illustrate, inspire and motivate around the six core processes of ACT.
“Poetry connects us to what is deepest in ourselves. It gives us access to our own feelings, which are often shadowy, and engages us in the art of making meaning. It widens the space of our inner lives. It is a magical, mysterious, inexplicable (though not incomprehensible) event in language.” Quote from Edward Hirsch.
“Life is neither meaningful nor meaningless. Meaning and its absence are given to life by language and imagination. We are linguistic beings who inhabit a reality in which it makes sense to make sense. For life to make sense it needs purpose. Even if our aim in life is to be totally in the here and now, free from past conditioning and any idea of a goal to be reached, we still have a clear purpose – without which life would be meaningless. A purpose is formed of words and images. And we can no more step out of language and imagination than we can step out of our bodies.” Stephen Bachelor - Buddhism without Beliefs

I've also attached the poster I did for Parma World Con and these same poems in word format. Enjoy :-)

ACT Poems

The Serenity Prayer
Grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can; and
Wisdom to know the difference

DEFUSION


The Guest House-- Jelaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Also From Rumi
Out beyond our ideas
Of wrong doing
And right doing
There is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the words
You and me
Have no meaning.


INSIDE by NeLi Martin
I don’t work for the CIA
MI5 or the FBI,
But I have a secret life
Inside.
While they talk and share –
Try to connect,
I’m running a different show,
It’s like multi-plex.


ACCEPTANCE


Kindness – Namoi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

 

St. Francis And The Sow by Galway Kinnell
The bud
stands for all things,
even those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;

as St. Francis
put his hand on the creased forehead
of the sow, and told her in words and in touch
blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow
began remembering all down her thick length,
from the earthen snout all the way
through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of
the tail,
from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine
down through the great broken heart
to the blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering
from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking
and blowing beneath them:
the long, perfect loveliness of sow.
 


INTREPID ADVENTURER by NeLi Martin

Intrepid adventurer
– Soft with determination
– Brave and courageous.
Many lands and landscapes traversed
Many encounters
In the quest for Freedom,
Truth,
Love.

Meanwhile
Loneliness, cold with despair, lies coiled.
Huddled into itself.
Asleep.

Shame hatred and unworthiness – all
Keep me from seeing
The task is also
To be willing to be found.


Gratitude
Humility
Gladness…

I find I am found

Joy

STEEL WOOLY THOUGHTS - NeLi Martin April 2005

The harshness of confusion
Scratches and tears at the flesh –
Wounds deepen
As I flail in pitiful attempts
At understanding.

Not realising
Freedom lies
Patiently awaiting my surrender.

LET THE WOUND LIE OPEN by Michael Leuni, Common Prayer Collection

When the heart
Is cut or cracked or broken
Do not clutch it
Let the wound lie open
Let the wind
From the good old sea blow in
To bathe the wound with salt
and let it sting
Let a stray dog lick it.
Let a bird lean in the hole and sing,
A simple song like a tiny bell
And let it ring
Let it go. Let it out.
Let it all unravel.
Let it free and it can be
A path on which to travel.

ANGER by NeLi Martin
Angry bitter in my teeth
Angry acid on my tongue
- How could you?
- Why would you?
Vengeance will be ……. Whose?
Nothing sweet
Here, is my life
Bound and battered by
Outrage and
Righteous
Indignation
And you just want to see my churlish
Girlish
Femme fatale.
But this bubbling cauldron of rage
This endless fury
Cannot, And never will
release me
Into the world.

Fair of Face and Full of Grace (Not) – NeLi Martin
The cards are dealt.
They flutter through the air
So full of possibility;
Innocent.
Anticipation …..
Gives way to expectation.
However, what is revealed
In the stark light
Of everyday life
Seems to deflate.
Let down.
In comparison to some
Just not fair.
BUT IT’S NOT FAIR
IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!
This is not the life I dreamed.
You don’t understand…
There was that promise –
That I would be special.
My life was supposed to mean
Something
To someone.
It’s not fair!
You don’t understand.
Misunderstood.
Miserably misunderstood
Misery.

Stuck raging
Railing against injustice.
It’s not fair for me
It’s not fair for you.
Join me in my struggle.
Unite in opposition.
Strengthen the struggle
(the cause devours its own baby)
United railing and rallying and raging
Against injustice.
Against –
Against –
Angst –
Angst ridden.
Suffering.
Suffering succotash, here again!

"In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the
struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish."
Simone Weil (1909-43), French philosopher, mystic. Draft of
letter to Andre Weil 1940 (published in Seventy Letters, pt. 2,
no. 39, 1965).


Sebastian Moore
The rejection of our common fate
Makes us strangers to each other,
The election of that fate,
In love, reveals us as one body.
 

PRESENT MOMENT


The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
 

PRAYING by Mary Oliver
It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.
 

MINDFUL by Mary Oliver
Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less

kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle

in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for -
to look, to listen,

to lose myself
inside this soft world -
to instruct myself
over and over

in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant -
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help

but grow wise
with such teachings
as these -
the untrimmable light

of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?


SELF AS CONTEXT


Eternity by William Blake
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sun rise.

On Wisdom and Perspective taking by Marcel Proust

We do not receive wisdom,
we must discover it for ourselves,
after a journey through the wilderness,
which no one else can make for us,
which no one can spare us,
for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.


WHERE WERE YOU LAST YEAR BY DAVID BRAZIER

Breath deep
Breath deep

The air fills my lungs and then?
My blood receives
This grace by which
I live a few moments more
My every cell replenished.
With every breath
A part of me departs
And something new
Is put in place.

The rice I ate yesterday,
Where is it now?
In my muscle, in my bone.
The juice we shared,
Where has it gone?
In our arms and legs and all.

Last month
The rice waved in the sunshine
In other lands:
In the low flood plains
Of the Mississippi
Or Irrawaddy;
And the fruit hung
On trees in Cyprus
Sicily or Spain.

And before that?
Before that their substance
Was in the soil,
Was in the air,
Was in the seas.
Was in the seas
Waiting to be gathered up
Waiting to soar up into the highest reaches of the sky,
Waiting to become rain.

You and I
Are mostly water.
Last year
Most of each of us
Was in the ocean.
We circulated together
In the Atlantic
Or Pacific perhaps,
For we are mostly water.

And that water was lifted
By sunshine heat
By the impact of photons
Cascading down
Beating upon the ocean’s face.

And every photon
Comes from the sun,
From the belly of the star;
You and I were stars last year.
We chased each other
In the turbulent heart of the sun.

So who was it that lived in your house last year?
And where will you be next week?
Who is your true friend and who your foe?
And who will you be next year?
Breath deep
Breath deep.

This air is me.
This air is you.
This air we share.
I give my substance to you and
You yours to me.

With each breath I am linked
In a single orbit
With the great forests.
My out breath is their food.
Their’s fills my lungs.
Last year
I was a tree
And the tree was me.

Each day
We gather up substance
And continue the task
Of endlessly
Remaking ourselves
From one another.

Each day
We discard a portion
And continue the cycle
Of endlessly
Returning ourselves
To others.

Day by day we change
And become one another,
The substance of the universe,
Stardust and all,
Passing through us each
And we through it.

Where were you last year?
Breath deep,
Breath deep.

KNOCK KNOCK by NeLi Martin

Tight, tight.
The mind wraps the idea.

Enfold
Enclose
Wrap

Rap, rap

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?

Enfolded
Enclosed
Wrapped tight?

(pause)
To listen
To open
To inquire
- who is in there?
……the armour of the mind pops
And crackles its release.
Opening out to the vista
Of silence.

KEEP ON KNOCKING - Rumi

Keep on knocking
'til the joy inside
opens a window
look to see who's there

WHOEVER FINDS LOVE - Rumi

Whoever finds love
beneath hurt and grief
disappears into emptiness
with a thousand new disguises

Call Me by My True Names - Thich Nhat Hanh

Do not say that I'll depart tomorrow
because even today I still arrive.

Look deeply: I arrive in every second
to be a bud on a spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with wings still fragile,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
in order to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and
death of all that are alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
and I am the bird which, when spring comes, arrives in time
to eat the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond,
and I am also the grass-snake who, approaching in silence,
feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks,
and I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to
Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving.

I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my
hands,
and I am the man who has to pay his "debt of blood" to, my
people,
dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

My joy is like spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all
walks of life.
My pain if like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart can be left open,
the door of compassion.


VALUES
Quote by Howard Thurman (American philosopher)
Don’t ask yourself what the world need; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world need is more people who have come alive.


WILD GEESE by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
"All the True Vows" from The House of Belonging by David Whyte.
All the true vows
are secret vows
the ones we speak out loud
are the ones we break.

There is only one life
you can call your own
and a thousand others
you can call by any name you want.

Hold to the truth you make
every day with your own body,
don't turn your face away.

Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with.

Those who do not understand
their destiny will never understand
the friends they have made
nor the work they have chosen

nor the one life that waits
beyond all the others.

By the lake in the wood
in the shadows
you can
whisper that truth
to the quiet reflection
you see in the water.

Whatever you hear from
the water, remember,

it wants you to carry
the sound of its truth on your lips.

Remember,
in this place
no one can hear you

and out of the silence
you can make a promise
it will kill you to break,

that way you'll find
what is real and what is not.

I know what I am saying.
Time almost forsook me
and I looked again.

Seeing my reflection
I broke a promise
and spoke
for the first time
after all these years

in my own voice,

before it was too late
to turn my face again.


Joanna Macy
As our awareness grows, so does that of the web,
for we are the universe becoming conscious of itself.
With sensibilities evolved through a millennia of interaction,
we can turn now and know that web as our home.
It both cradles us and calls us to weave it further.

COMMITTED ACTION

The Journey by Mary Oliver, from Dreamworld

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But it didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with it’s stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Commitment - Aziza Sa'id
Commitment creates freedom.
When you commit to a movement,
you make it with your whole body.
When you commit to a feeling,
your passion will give power to your message.
When you commit to a dance,
your feeling reaches beyond your limitations.
When you commit to your path,
give yourself over to your way of growth, Magic happens...
obstacles get out of your way, mountains lay down before you,
the sky opens up above you,
and you will find yourself transformed.


Commitment - Goethe
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."


From “Little Gidding” – TS Eliot
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
...
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well

The Kookaburras - Mary Oliver (costs of not taking CA)
In every heart there is a coward and a procrastinator.
In every heart there is a god of flowers, just waiting
to stride out of a cloud and lift its wings.
The kookaburras, pressed against the edge of their cage,
asked me to open the door.
Years later I remember how I didn't do it,
how instead I walked away.
They had the brown eyes of soft-hearted dogs.
They didn't want to do anything so extraordinary, only to fly
home to their river.
By now I suppose the great darkness has covered them.
As for myself, I am not yet a god of even the palest flowers.
Nothing else has changed either.
Someone tosses their white bones to the dung-heap.
The sun shines on the latch of their cage.
I lie in the dark, my heart pounding.

 

COMMITMENT by NeLi Martin (costs of not taking CA)
Commitment tugs at my skirt edges,
Come on, you need me!
I gaze vacantly into the distance.
Make a joke.
Move on,
Pretending not to notice
The dragging at my hem line,
But all the while
feeling I’ve left something behind.

What We Knew - Carolyn Elkins from Daedalus Rising

At times we feel the need to go back
to plain things. To stones, earth,
grass, wind. To things we have known
a long time, to what we knew
when what filled the hours was dirt
and a few sticks, a pile of leaves
or some thin, white bones
from a long-dead bird.
The huge rock near the creek
was not too hard to lie on then
and the sun on bare skin felt warm.
We did not feel the press of time
as we do now. The world seemed firm
and real, and life was slow, and long, and good.


Michael Jordan

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games.
26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot ...
and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
That is why I succeed.”


Lance Armstrong

The world is full of people who are trying to purchase self-confidence,
or manufacture it,
or who simply posture it.
But you can’t fake confidence,
you have to earn it.
If you ask me, the only way to do that is work.
You have to do the work.’

“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience.
Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” -
Hal Borland, journalist (1900-1978)

"And the day came when the risk to remain in a bud was greater
than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

A Community of the Spirit - Rumi
There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street
and being the noise.
Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.
Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.
Open your hands,
if you want to be held.
Sit down in the circle.
Quit acting like a wolf, and feel
the shepherd's love filling you.
At night, your beloved wanders.
Don't accept consolations.
Close your mouth against food.
Taste the lover's mouth in yours.
You moan, "She left me." "He left me."
Twenty more will come.
Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!
Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?
Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.
Flow down and down in always
widening rings of being.


I have Something to Say - NeLi Martin

I have SOMETHING to say.
Can you listen?
Will those fine bones
In your cochlear
Vibrate in a manner which will
Get your attention?
Will these vibrations
From my larynx
Fire your neurons
With a pattern of
Cognitive recognition?
Will you see you
In my words?
My neuron firing
Your neurons.
Can I make your acquaintance?
Arhh, a sea of expectant faces and this heart beats
Nervous to reveal…
And this heart rattles
At the cages of sinew and bone.
Can I get out of this skin?
To connect with you
Reach into your heart, feel
It beating
Like mine
Awaiting freedom from self consciousness
Waiting to connect
To everything. To be
Bound
To nothing,
And this heart beats
Nervous to reveal…..
And standing naked, this heart sees.
My friend, I see
I see your vulnerability
I see your vulnerability and my heart breaks
My heart breaks open
My heart breaks open and I walk
I walk on water
I drink the ocean
The ocean that is you and me
And everything we have ever been
And everything we have ever been is
Beautiful
Is love

 

Wendell Berry : "The Real Work" posted by Pete Bloom

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

The impeded stream is the one that sings.
 

The Zebra Question, by Shel Silverstein

I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I'll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.

NeLi Martin

Acceptance and Commitment Song

Acceptance and Commitment Song

Hello all!

This audio recording, available as either a link or download by ACBS members, is my attempt at capturing both the essence and spectrum of the psychological flexibility model in song-form.  The recording is a bare bones acoustic/vocal version and the lyrics are below.  Hope you enjoy!  Lou Lasprugato

Acceptance and Commitment Song

There's suffering when you run away from pain
Expecting change but doing more of the same
And it's a long way down when your mind's pushing you around

Open up, open up
Step into this space
See what you need to face
To get through, to get through
What matters to you (2x)

It's hard when love's all but lost
And your best is not good enough
And you fill with fear when you're anywhere but here

As you move
As you sway
In the eye of the storm
In the depths of the pain
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice hurt?
Will you let it be?
Will you take a stand?
Will you carry me?
Will you notice love?
Will you let it be?
And breathe... 

Lou Lasprugato

Fables for Parents

Fables for Parents

I've been inspired to write several 'fables' for parents - stories written to inspire vital living and loving, responsive parenting.  Two of my fables in particular are grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and they are attached.  All of my Fables for Parents can be freely distributed by any manner you like whatsoever.  Just make sure that you say somewhere that I'm the author (Koa Whittingham) and give a link to my website www.koawhittingham.com.  

Brianna's Life Mission illustrates experiential acceptance and committed action in the context of parenting

Ashley's True Self explores self-as-context in a manner relvant to parents

If you'd like to read more Fables for Parents then check out my website: http://www.koawhittingham.com/fables-for-parents/

Koa Whittingham

Quotes with an ACT Theme

Quotes with an ACT Theme
These quotes, most of which are good to share with clients, come from numerous resources, including the introductory quotes to chapters of ACT books.
If you have more to add, add a comment or child page and they'll be added.

 

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. — Carl Jung

The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. — Zen Saying

If you don't know where you are going, you might not get there. — Yogi Berra

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. — John Lennon

Right now a moment of time is passing by!... We must become that moment. — Paul Cezanne

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. — Helen Keller

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. — Albert Einstein

The only way out is through. — Robert Frost

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advance. — Orville Wright

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. — e. e. cummings

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. — Gandhi

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall. — Confucius

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. — The Wizard of Oz

When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool. — Chinua Achebe

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. — Emo Phillips

Our one true home is in the present moment. — Thich Nhat Hanh

You can observe a lot just by watching. — Yogi Berra

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less important whether I am afraid. — Audre Lorde

It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow. — Ralph Ellison

When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. — Pema Chodron

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. — Wayne Dyer

It's like you're surfing… The same wave that can be a source of pain can be a beautiful flowing grace and source of power. It's all a matter of how you respond to it. — Trey Anastasio

It is only by practicing through a continual succession of agreeable and disagreeable situations that we acquire true strengths. To accept that pain is inherent and to live our lives from this understanding is to create the causes and conditions for happiness. — Suzuki Roshi

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. — Woody Allen

In the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. — Abraham Lincoln

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. — Jim Elliot

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. — Mark Twain

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. — Ferris Bueller

Be the change you wish to see in the world. — Gandhi

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Experience is the teacher of all things. — Julius Caesar

In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. — Sir Francis Bacon

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. — Mother Teresa

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. — Frederick Douglass

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. —  Mark Twain

Make each day your masterpiece. —  John Wooden

Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair. — Edmund Burke

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. — Yogi Berra

You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, this is something you are free to do and is in accordance with your nature, but perhaps precisely this holding back is the only suffering that you might be able to avoid. — Franz Kafka

Uncertainty is not a pleasant condition; but certainty is absurd. — Voltaire

Fear doesn't go away but you walk toward fear naked and the gate opens. — Starhawk

When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for. — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. — Joseph Goldstein

Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness. — James Thurber

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. — Guillaume Apollinaire

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. — Thomas Merton

The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default. — J.K. Rowling

You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel. — Unknown

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. — Lena Horne

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. — Anonymous

Do or do not. There is no try. — Yoda (Star Wars)

I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do. — Georgia O'Keeffe

Life is not tried, it is merely survived if you're standing outside the fire. — Garth Brooks

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. — Abraham Lincoln

Do one thing every day that scares you. — Eleanor Roosevelt

In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. — Douglas Adams

Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc… and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons. — Douglas Adams

Wisdom and compassion flow from simplicity and clarity; from having nothing to prove and nothing to defend. — Barry Magid

Jen Plumb

Rumi Quotes

Rumi Quotes

 

“Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!
Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open?"


“These pains you feel are messengers.  Listen to them.”

 

“Brother, stand the pain.
Escape the poison of your judges.
The sky will bow to your beauty, if you do.
Learn to light the candle. Rise with the sun.
Turn away from the cave of your sleeping.
That way a thorn expands to a rose."


“Are you jealous of the ocean’s generosity?
Why would you refuse to give this joy to anyone? Fish don’t hold the sacred liquid in cups! They swim the huge fluid freedom.”


"Come, come, come whatever you are..
Good or bad, 
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come."

"Submit to love without thinking"


"Close your eyes, fall in Love, stay there."


"When love itself comes to kiss you, don’t hold back!"


"Speak with the language of love."


"If the house of the world is dark, Love will find a way to create windows."


"Love is a silent language."


"Love will find its way through all languages on its own."


"As you live deeper in the heart, the mirror gets clearer and cleaner."


"Now’ is where love breathes."

 

"No words can explain how inspired words spring out of silence."


"Free yourself from your own thoughts."


"Enough of words. Come to me without a sound."


"Sit, be still, and listen."


"Hear the passage into silence and be that."


"You are the seeker, the goal, and seeking itself. Not only a part of them"


"Don’t sit and wait. Get out there, feel life. Touch the sun, and immerse in the sea."


"Give yourself a kiss. If you want to hold the beautiful one, hold yourself to yourself."


"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop."


"We often need to be refreshed."

 

"The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open."

 

"Respond to every call that excites your spirit."


"Everything about yesterday has gone with yesterday. Today, it is needed to say new things."


"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?."


"Don’t grieve, anything you lose comes round in another form."


"Smiles come best from those who weep."


"Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth."


"Stay in the spiritual fire. Let it cook you."

Hilal Bebek